Posts by X-JW in AK

37

I may be stepping down!

by Kool Jo in

so the co is in town...sorry i can't disclose much info....i haven't done anything wrong that warrants no longer serving as an ms....but the co is thinking of deleting me as an ms (my parents are aware)....i really hope he does as this will make my fade much more easier...... freedom is just around the corner i hope.... peace.

kool jo.

X-JW in AK

May the Force be With You! You will do just fine after you get away from the indoctrination. Spirituality is NOT about religion and you do not need anyone else's approval at all to get to God. Freedom is around the corner. Many blessings!

SharonE

12

If you and your spouse were both JWs but you decided to leave: a few questions

by Lady Lee in

if you and your spouse were both jws but you decided to leave and your spouse decided to stay: a few questions.

i am going to be addressing the international cultic studies association (icsa) in july at the conference in montreal.

my focus is on 3 groups.

X-JW in AK

Hi,

I just signed onto this group and am glad to find you. I left the religion in 1997. The numbering below is a bit skewed, but here's my response to your questions:

What have been the biggest problems you have faced regarding your relationship and the impact the JW beliefs have had on you?

When I decided to leave "The Truth" I told my husband I could no longer be a hypocrite. I could see the "love" they claimed to have among the brotherhood was not love at all. My husband was upset, but not angry, and in the end left the religion with me. (I expected him to want to divorce me because he was born and raised in the religion. I became a JW when I was 19 in 1969.)

The Biggest problem was having our entire family turn against, both sides. We were living on my husband's parents' property, taking care of them in their elder years. The oldest of the sibblings (an Elderette) made sure our life was miserable after we made our announcement to leave. We finally walked away from our home that was on the property (this was Sisters, Oregon), lost everything, and moved back to Alaska, and of course, our apostacy followed us. I am a midwife and know MANY JWs, having served them at birth.

How has the JW spouse reacted towards you?

After leaving, he once said "where else is there to go?" and I said ANYWHERE but there. He decided to follow me out of the religion.

Have the elders interfered with your relationship?

They tried. They tried to get me into an elder's meeting, which I refused to go. Then when my husband showed he was following my steps, they tried to get him into a meeting, but he refused.

Has your decision to leave the JWs resulted in divorce or separation?

That was in 1997. I am happy to say we are still together in a very loving relationship, having been together 41+ years.

And if you had children together what has been the effect on them?

Some of our 7 children also disapproved our decision to leave. My daughter #5 thought is was Horrible that I left the religion. I stood my ground. Today all of my children have left the organization, including that daughter, who is very active in a non-denominational Christian church. I can't go there...tried...can't do it.

What would you want therapists to know about your situation?

I actually went to a therapist who recognized that I had been "thrown out of the tribe" as she put it. She taught me how to "think" again, instead of the brainwashing I had for over 35 years.

Any other thoughts?

I was a very active JW for many of the 35+ years I was involved. I watched the slow erosion of family life that took place as a result of the beliefs that if they left the "truth" they were no longer part of your family. My mother (who I cried and prayed for daily until she became a very active JW pioneer..still is as far as I know) shuns me to this day. It has been quite the experience. I am happy to say I am now At Peace. The Beatles' song "All you need is LOVE" is where I am at spiritually, and I am happy.

SharonE